Thursday, October 28, 2010

Happy Whorelloween?

I fear that a great many halloween costumes are being mislabeled.  Recently, I've noticed costumes with names like "sexy Alice" (in Wonderland), "sexy pirate," "queen bee sexy costume," and - my favorite - "sexy furry sci-fi costume."  Ok, maybe "sexy skunk" was my favorite.  Anyway.  I think a better description for these costumes would be something like "slut dressed like a nurse" or "what a whore would wear and think it looks like Cleopatra."

What I really can't understand is the appeal of taking a favorite/beloved and instantly recognizable children's character like Little Orphan Annie or Snow White and turning into a shame-based and tawdry representation thereof.  Personally, I find it revolting that the most innocent of characters must be degraded and sexualized.  I realize that some women are so one-dimensional and insecure that they must seize upon any and every opportunity to "slut it up",  and the naughty nurse and French maid outfits have been around forever.  But when someone chooses a "sexy" costume based on a character created for children, in my opion, they have crossed a line. It's not funny.  It's not cute.  It's not original or imaginative.  It's just in poor taste, an speaks volumes of your character.

Don't get me wrong - I'm no party pooper.  When I was 9 months pregnant with my third child I dressed as  "pregnant Frayser redneck" for Halloween. (If you are not from Memphis, Frayser is to Memphis as New Jersey is to New York. Wait- except it's not a separate state or anything...ok, so not the greatest analogy, but you catch my drift) I wore a maternity skirt, a regular, ill-fitting top, orange nail polish, big hair and red platform sandals.  It was hilarious (if I do say so myself), a bit off-color, and definitely original.  I'm not saying I'm the be-all-end-all in Halloween costumes.  Ok, my "Mrs. Roper" costume was great too.  Used one of my mom's old muumuu's from Hawaii and some tacky beads.

I guess I just don't get the "hey, it's halloween... so tonight I finally get dress slutty and get guys to look at my boobs and stuff, and it's ok because the mardi-gras like atmosphere will make people realize that being slutty is not really in my character, it's just that my low self-esteem demands that I draw attention to myself in this way when I have the opportunity and excuse to do so" mentality.  

I guess what I'm saying is, I encourage you drop the illusion, go ahead and dress slutty every day, but for crying out loud, let's leave Snow White out of it.

Friday, October 1, 2010

Tart de Citron. Part deux.

Due to popular demand, I'll now post the recipe (which I had so hoped to keep secret) for my tart de citron.

First of all, you can use a ready-made pie crust (give yourself 2 stars for being a "slice and bake cookie" kinda gal) or you can make a home-made traditional pie crust (that's three stars for your "from stratchiness") OR a home-made graham cracker crust (4 stars for you, since one could arguably eat a dog poo pie if it were in a good enough graham cracker crust).

I frequently make mine in mini tart shells (as pictured) since I tend to share them, and I like built in portion control (that's 5 stars for me for being an original super genius not unlike Martha Stewart but without the snootiness - or jail time.).

Now, here is the rest of the recipe:

1 cup sugar
1/4 cup cornstarch
1 cup milk
3 egg yolks, beaten
1/4 cup butter (if you use margarine I will key your car and tell everyone your boobs are fake)
1T lemon zest
1/3 cup lemon juice
1 cup sour cream
Garnish (fresh whipped cream or home-made candied lemon peel as pictured)
(Please don't ask me for my recipe for candied lemon peel.  It's called google, people.)

If you make pies at all you are probably familiar with the basic custard cooking method: milk, sugar and cornstarch are blended and cooked over MH heat until mixture starts to thicken, then reduce heat and cook  2 more minutes (ps- unless you like scabby pie you will NOT stop stirring).   Remove from heat, temper yolks, add yolks, bring to boil then 2 more minutes of cooking.  Should be very thick by now.

Remove from heat, stir in butter and zest then juice.  Cover and cool completely.  Fold in sour cream and fill shell(s), then refrigerate for at least 2 hours.  That's it.  You can also use the custard as a filling between layers of white or lemon cake, or you can slather it all over yourself and wait for your husband to come home.

By the way, if you like this sort of thing, I'd like to highly recommend to you the newest book by Jennifer Chandler, simply suppers.  I got a copy for my birthday, and it is some fantastic comfort food.  Makes chicken cordon bleu look as easy as Tuna Helper.  I made her potato chip chicken tenders - yes, you read correctly FREEKIN POTATO CHIP CHICKEN TENDERS - for the family last weekend.  I thought the children were actually going to pool their allowance and commission a bronze in both our honors.  Got some great desserts in there too.  You can keep up with her on facebook (Cook with Jennifer...Good Food Simply) or follow her on twitter @cookwjennifer.

PS- She's a Memphis gal.  I've met her.  She's nice; you would like her.